I still am a Man!!!

We are all ...that....we got!

Make it or Die!!! LOL....just joking, but we are trying to make everything happen!
(L-R) Jason Marshall, Jarritt Sheel, Rashad(& lil girl), Saunders Sermons, Willerm Delisfort.

A wonderful year

I was just sitting here in the computer lab in the Music Building at the school of Music at Northern Illinois University. Almost a year ago I was in Fort Lauderdale, FL working like 3 jobs to support myself and countless others just to keep from going insane....Music! Here I am finishing a pretty prosperous first year in grad school.

I look back at this first year as a trial of my strength.....mentally and physically. I have met so many people in the last 5 months than I think ever in my musical life thus far. Nick Payton, Roy Hargrove, Antonio Hart, John Clayton, Montez Coleman, Marcus Strickland, Ira Sullivan, Wynton Marsalis, Ted Nash, Chris Potter, Brian Blade, Terell Stafford, Matt Wilson, Tim Warfield, Jiggs Wigham, David Sanchez, Corey Wilkes, Maurice Brown, and all the wonderful and very talented musicians that live in the Chicago area. I am also I got tyo play with such a great band in the NIU Jazz Ensemble under the driection of Ron Carter. It was hard and awe inspiring all at the same time. Thank God for all these magnificient musicians and entertainers. Thanks again...Vince Gardner, Diron Holloway for your support in my making this choice to further my education here at NIU. Thanks to my family too...for being there and loving the hell outta me. Love you guys!

I have grown soo much...in these past few months. This is something that I hope everyone can hear in my playing and also in my speech and demeanor. Life is great .... it is hard because it is soo easy...you dig? You are offered all these different opportunities, and choices to the point that you can get all screwed up. The choice is what makes it hard for soo many people. That ...i think ...is were in lines the challenge itself. I accept it and relish the fact that everyday you get something new .....in front of you.

I look forward to a great summer here in Chicago, Dekalb, Fort Lauderdale, Orlando, and New York. I can't wait to see my family in a couple of weeks and the OCEAN......Yes!!! So...keep tuned in for the next set of adventures from your boy Jarritt A. Sheel. You know that summer is full of surprises... ONE!

Year in review!!!

Dekalb Scenery !

NIU Jazz Ensemble Tour w/ John Clayton

New York, Milwaukee, & the Roots!!!

New York City

Aaaarrrggghhhh!

Don't you hate when you fuck up really bad? I can't believe as of let how I have totally disappointed teachers, professors, and colleagues. I think that form my silence they feel as though I am unfrettered but my crashing and burning regularly at jazz ensemble concerts. I have no one to blame for mistakes and then I sit at night wondering when I will become this monster lead player that everyone apparently thinks I will eventually become. I am scaried man!!! I get up on stage and start thinking too much maybe....I get the sweaty palms and I thinking man I better nto miss that note or htat phrase better swing hard. I suck...so bad. If I didn't have hard lessons learned earlier in life I would cry, but no haps here bruh! I have to...shit I don't know! If I knew that I would have made more changes as of late. I am stuck...I wish I had someone to sit and immulate this year. Dayum...

God Please help me to get better and stop sucking so bad!

Being Thankful....

First and foremost I would like to extend to you that check out my blog every now and again, a special holiday greeting! Hopefully you enjoyed the various holidays that recently culminated these last two weeks! I am christian, and I would feel totally remiss if I did not take the time now to say that we should all try a little harder to make a better connection with our saviour Jesus Christ!

I love each and everyone of you, some it is harder than others, but all the same I love you! Tis the season to be jolly! I am ....really...I am...even though most don't know what and where my sardonic, dry witted, sarcastic, and sometime painful humor means......I am just being me and observing people and the REAL them! the one which no one ever really pays attention to, and I grew up in, not part of an age though, house that kept it really real all the time! It was a loving and generous house, but real all the same though! So, that is why I talk to others...unless you are my ace in the hole.....a really good friend! You know who you are! If you gotta ask then most likely you are not among those I spoke of! No hard feelings....just the reality of being me!

I digress though! As I layed watching several movies last night I thought about many things...World Hunger, Cure for Cancer, Why do Black Women Trip so much, Who Introduced Crack-Cocaine into the Black community, and the one that really got me thinking....."Am I as Thankful as I should be?" The answer is No! Far and Away.....I feel that I am a thankless wretch! I do not thank God enough, nor my family and friends! I am so blessed! It is astounding.....and it seems that only when one is in a great position that they can truly analyze this fact! I felt great and at one point I almost lost my temper yesterday! Why you may ask...? Because the people at Popeye's-chicken...were taking to DAYUM long to serve me! They didn't even have Mardi Grad Mustard for my Chicken Strips! What kinda shit is that...right...do you hear what I was thinkning....absurd...huh?

I am thankful for all the abounding gifts I have and received ever. I think that I made a new years resolution, and here it is; I will dedicate myself more steadfastly yo my craft/art of music, and make myself a better person through reading daily other then the assignment given to me by my teachers! I will take a more active role in my community...the black community! I think that is enough for now....WHEW!!! But is it enough? That is the dichotomy that I/we face daily huh? Is it really ever enough? Do we do enough to make ourselves better there by making the world better? Serious questions that I believe most people will not ever try to face in their lifetime! Why...FEAR! Truth is painful most times.....not because of what is found out ,but rather because it takes effort, dedication, and the willingness to look at yourself in the Mirror! "Truth hurts love stinks......" these are the lyrics to a commercial I saw many times in my youth! I use d to laugh about it...dayum poor souls...feeling that way! Well suck it up! I had a good friend die the other day. R.I.P. Bobby James Jackson Jr. aka "Snacks"...this is like the 3 or fourth Friend my age that has gone to the grave in the last year or two! It really brings your mortality in the forefront and makes you thin about what is really important! LIFE!!! Bobby was I think 32 or 33 years old! I had just talked to this man before leaving south Florida again for fall semester at Northern Illinois where I am seeking my masters degree in jazz studies! He said that he was proud and I of him also! The head band director of a high school( Miami Central)....such a prodigious effort, but those who knew him would say that he really was doing the job years ago, under Johnny Tracey! I can neither confirm nor deny that comment, but what i will say is that Bobby, who was my fraternity brother, love music and teaching! Did he know what Life was really all about? Do any of us know...that is the question, and are we thankful?

After my really good friend ...at least to me Edmond Randle Jr. was killed in IRAQ...the other year! I rededicated my life to music and the pursuit of my dream. I would live up to the dreams of Edmond, my mother, grandmother, father, and all others that have been denied! This is to say the least a daunting task! Fulfilling all the unfulfilled dreams! I think the other month I gave in and realized that there is no way that I can do this, but rather find happiness in who I have turned into, and what I will accomplish in my life over the years, and the friendships and relationships I create! I can no longer look at my life with "who I can be glasses" I must realistically look at it with what i can do with what i have all ready! That is something people live with almost all their lives....wondering...and not living! Life is for the living! Something I have been hearing a lot of lately " Let the dead stay dead and let the living live..." something like that I think. In a nut shell you must take full advantage of everything when you can,because who is to say that you will get another chance! Look at my friends who have past away! I pray that they live a full and rich ...yet short life! God Bless them!

You should take time now to live your life to the fullest! Whether you are 80 or 18! I hope this little blurb helped someone! BE THANKFUL........ONE!

Sincerely,
(Signature here)
Jarritt Sheel aka "The Madd Rapper"
President, CEO, Founder

I never missed a better group of white people!

That my seem a little...politically incorect, but I trully miss the Disney Experience. I hope that one I will be able to repay the Mouse for all the good times. I am working hard to be able to do it. Some of these people will forever be my people! I gain valuable life lessons and learned alot about myself and hell,....... I had a great fucking time!

Craziness....Women

This is something that I have to get off of my chest. We as humans must get better at communicating ....communication seems to be the biggest obstacle in the overall evolution as people that each one fo us face daily! Talking....something as simple as speaking your mind, articulating what you are thinking to another human! Women are very different than men in so many ways other than the apparent physical differences. We, act, talk, think, dream, sing, romance about things the same yet different. This is very apparent in male and female literature, we even write differently! LOL!

The reason that I am writing this article is too speak on the fact that women think alot differently about relationships than men. The fact that a man can even be in a relationship minus knowing about it is hillarious to me. It is a concept that is so foreign to me, the fact that a woman has a vision or dillusion that we are in a intimate relationship w/out even telling me......I guess that they are poor telepaths....LOL! We are suppose to read their minds and figure out what they are thinking. Men on the other hand are just as jacked up and disfunctional. The difference being ....that we are usually seen as more emotionally aloof....you digg? Perfect example.....this woman comes over to your house....late and she wants to talk....halfway thru the conversation she starts to cry and .....she lloks and wonders why you are not flinching a muscle....you apologize with all sincerity and tell her that you hope that she feels better about the situation. You evern go as far to tell her that I at least I would like to be her friend....! What is comedic....is the fact that we had two different conversations. SHe heard and saw that you were insensitive due to the fac that you didn't cry along with her.....cold hearted bastard you.....! This is a dramedy...drama comedy...LOL!

The humor in all this is the only thing holding us back from better understanding is....words....combinations of words....! I have finally come to that point were I have the whole ....I get it ,but just because you are sad or depressed I am not going to be....! I feel for you like Chaka Khan said....but I am not a follower! You can jump off of the bridge,but unless I am emotionally drawn to the flame of our torrid romance that I didn't know we were having then.....hey you better understand that your highs are not my highs and your lows aren't either.

I think that after a certain time in most adults life they start limiting the amount of unimportant things that bugg them. Like I grew up in a family full of women....mother, aunt, grandmother, female cousins, grand aunts, etc....they all cried...some more than others,but they all cried! I am n longer moved byt the tears of a human.....well not those alligator tears of most women! Children, people who have lost another, parents, and the injuried/hurt/sick/infirmed. Other then those people....NOPE!

What should we do as people to understand each other....I guess Listen better! Or We will be out in the cold!

The greats.....

Snow Day......